Should You Do a First Look?
Should you do a first look?
Timelines, logistics, and how to get dressed without your person seeing.
Table of Contents
Okay so this one comes up constantly, and I want to get the most important part out of the way immediately: the first look is not a requirement. It is not a thing you have to do. Plenty of my couples skip it entirely and their day is great!
But if you're on the fence, here's everything I've noticed after doing a lot of these.
Should you do a first look?
The honest answer is that it depends almost entirely on one thing: where you want to see each other for the first time.
That's it. That's the whole decision! Everything else is logistics.
If the image in your head is your person's face when you walk toward them at the ceremony, don't do a first look. Protect that. If the image in your head is the two of you alone somewhere with nobody watching, do one.
Anddddd if you genuinely don't have a strong feeling either way, keep reading, because then it comes down to time and weather and a few other things that are actually pretty easy to sort out.
Are you sure that doing a first look is right for you?
Four questions to sit with.
Do you have time? If you're both getting ready in the same place, a first look barely costs you anything. If you're getting ready thirty-plus minutes apart, it's a real chunk of the day and it only works if we build the schedule around it.
Do you want to see each other for the first time at the ceremony? Can't have both. This one's just a preference and there's no wrong answer.
What's the weather doing? This is the one people forget. If there's rain or storms in the forecast, a first look means we bank portraits early instead of hoping the sky cooperates at golden hour. In the mountains, afternoon storms are basically a scheduled event in July and August.
Do you want photos with your people before or after the ceremony? Doing a first look usually means family photos happen before, which frees up the whole rest of the evening.
How much time does a first look actually take?
Nobody tells you this part, so here are real numbers from real days.
The first look by itself: about fifteen minutes. That's walking up, the moment, and letting you two have a second before I start moving around.
First look plus portraits right after: 45 minutes to an hour. This is what most couples actually do, because you're already dressed and already together and the light is usually good.
Family photos before the ceremony: another 20 to 30 minutes depending on how many people. Bigger groups take longer, and someone is always in the bathroom.
So if you're doing all three, block off about an hour and a half. That sounds like a lot until you realize you're moving it off the back end of the day, where it would otherwise eat the entire window between your ceremony and dinner.
If you're getting ready in separate places, add the drive time between them. Twice. That's the part that sneaks up on people.
Where do you get ready if you want to do a first look?
If you're eloping and there's no bridal suite and no hotel block and no obvious answer here, you have more options than you think.
Get ready in the same space together and do the first look right there.
Get ready together, then take separate cars to the spot. Or one car with a blanket clipped between the front and back seat. I have absolutely done this.
Get ready on opposite sides of the vehicle, which is fine if you've got the privacy for it. (Check first. Trailhead parking lots are not private.)
Get ready in totally separate places and meet at the location.
None of these are weird. All of them work.
How do you get dressed without your partner seeing?
If you're getting ready in the same space, someone takes the bathroom. That's genuinely it. One of you gets fully dressed in there while the other stays put, and then whoever's ready first heads out to the spot.
If you're in an Airbnb or a cabin, use two rooms and a closed door. Easy.
If you're getting ready at the trailhead because that's the kind of day this is, a blanket clipped between the front and back seat of the car works fine. So does one person facing the other direction with headphones in, on the honor system. I have watched a lot of people honor this system and it's held up so far.
The suit side of this is usually simpler, but not always. If one of you has a whole look happening, plan the same way.
Where should you do your first look?
Somewhere private. This is the whole point. If people are walking past, you'll feel it, and it changes how the moment goes.
Somewhere that means something. A trailhead you've hiked a hundred times, the spot where one of you proposed, the pullout you always stop at. It doesn't have to be dramatic, it just has to be yours.
At your getting ready space if you're tight on time. Not glamorous, still lovely.
At the ceremony location if you're getting ready separately. This is the one I recommend most for elopements. And here's the thing more couples should know: a scenic first look does not require a hike. I've done first looks a thirty second walk from where we parked with mountains stacked up behind them. Zero switchbacks, zero sweat.
How should you do your first look?
There's no correct version, but here are the ones I see most:
One of you facing away while the other walks up. The classic.
Tapping your person on the shoulder.
Hugging them from behind.
Standing back to back and turning around at the same time.
Blindfolds if one of you really wants the surprise element, though honestly most couples skip this.
As for me, I hang back. I'm not going to be three feet away directing you. I'll tell you where to stand and then I'm gone, and you get to have the moment without a camera in your face. Most of my favorite first look photos are the ones where I was pretty far away.
What's different about a first look in the mountains?
Most first look advice is written for a venue with a garden and a hallway. Colorado is not that, and a few things change.
Wind. Above treeline it's not a maybe, it's a Tuesday. It affects which direction you face, whether veils are a good idea, and how long you can comfortably stand still. I'll pick the spot with this in mind, but it's worth knowing before you plan hair.
There's no shade. If your first look is at 9 a.m. in an open meadow, the light is going to be harsh and squinty. This is fixable, it just means we choose the spot around the time rather than the other way around.
Other people exist. Trailhead lots and pullouts have hikers in them, especially in July. Privacy takes actual planning, which is a lot of what I'm doing when I pick locations.
Afternoon storms are basically scheduled. In July and August you can nearly set a watch by them. This is my strongest argument for doing a first look at all: it moves your portraits into the part of the day when the sky is still behaving.
Who should you do your first look with?
Doesn't have to be your partner!
Your mom. Your best friend. Your kids. Your dad. Your entire group of people, all at once, which is chaotic in the best way.
Your dog. Obviously your dog.
You can do more than one, too. I've had couples do a first look with each other and then a separate one with family. Costs you maybe twenty minutes and you get both.
What happens after the first look?
Whatever you want, which sounds like a cop-out but is actually the best argument for doing one.
Read your private vows right there. Go back and sit down for a second. Knock out portraits so you're not doing them after the ceremony while everyone waits. Go find your people. Go find a snack.
The real benefit is that the nerves are out. Every photo after that is two relaxed people instead of two people bracing for something. I've watched this happen enough times that it's the main reason I bring it up at all.
The tradeoff, since I've been selling this pretty hard: a first look means getting ready earlier. If you're not a morning person, or if you're getting ready an hour apart, that's a real cost and it's fair to decide it isn't worth it.
So should you do one? Depends. If you want more time together on the day, more breathing room in the schedule, and a backup plan for weather, yes. If the aisle moment is what you've been picturing this whole time, then no, and that's completely fine.
We'll talk it through when we plan your timeline. There's no version of this where you get it wrong.
We'll build the timeline together.
First look or no first look, that's a conversation we have once you're booked. Tell me the month to start.
Planning to elope in Crested Butte with family? Learn the best locations, permits, and tips for a beautiful Crested Butte micro wedding in the Colorado mountains.